Showing posts with label lonely. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lonely. Show all posts

Saturday, March 5, 2011

I would wake up

in the pouring rain every day for the rest of my life if just to bring you back.

I wasn't ready for this.
To everyone who said God took you and that was okay, then fuck them. I needed you more than he ever will.
I owe you for more things than anyone could count.
I wanted to repay you, I swore I'd be something and come back to take care of you.
For the last three days I've been screaming "fuck you" at the sky, sobbing into the grass, throwing fits and tantrums like the baby I feel that I am without you.
I hate every single person at that funeral home who wasn't on the floor in a heap with me.
Preacher man says, "This is just a test from God, Samantha." Yeah? Well fuck you, I'd repeat the second grade as long as I live if it meant I got to have her with me.

People talk about the day they found God, I'll talk about the day I lost faith in everything.

Now Playing; Hospice - The Antlers

Posted by samb. at 10:56 PM 0 more than before
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Monday, January 3, 2011

I don't know if

I'm ready to talk yet.

I like the things I keep inside too much to share. Selfish little girl.
Just know that I do miss you.

Posted by samb. at 12:17 AM 0 more than before
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Sunday, December 12, 2010

She sees his face

in the sweat stained sheets.

The dirty cups,
they keep on piling up.
In the backyard,
so overgrown.
In the dandelions,
they peek through the cracks in the patio.
She swears she hears the phone,
but she only gets a dial-tone.
So she imagines what'd she say:

"If you feel like coming home to me sometime,
yeah, if you feel like coming home to me,
I'll be waiting at the door.
There is nothing to be sorry for.
So why can't you come home?
Don't you feel like coming home to me anymore?
You don't feel like coming home to me?"
ugh.

Posted by samb. at 3:21 PM 0 more than before
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Sunday, November 28, 2010

Looks like

I got played. Ouch.

I'm never the kind of girl to get a crush like I got, but oh my, did I fancy you. It doesn't matter now, because I'm also not the kind of girl to fight. You have what makes you happy, and in the end that's all I can ask for. Sure, I'm sad, sure, I'm upset, but I can't hold it against you.
I've played my fair share of the game, but it hurts when I've finally stopped, and it is just now coming back around to me.

See, it wouldn't hurt so much if I hadn't hurt someone else for you. I broke a boy's heart just to take a shot with you, and it backfired as much as it possibly could.
I'm lonely again.
I'm listening to lonely music again.
It's obviously winter time, and so it begins.






Now Playing: You Are My Sunshine, Copeland

Posted by samb. at 6:31 PM 0 more than before
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Saturday, November 20, 2010

There are times

like right now, where I wish I was somewhere else.

It's because I'm laying in my bed, stealing internet from my neighbors, and filling my room with cigarette smoke. Even though I'm aware of the trouble this will get me into. I don't care.
Welcome to winter, everyone. This scene is the general picture of what our lives in this season will become. Seasonal Affective Disorder will ensue for quite a few of those who believe it exists, and for those who don't, well, we'll just be sad.
It's nothing that we want, but nothing that we have learned to avoid. It happens and we allow it.
I just want someone to be honest with me. Honest intentions at the least. My cat is the only boy in my life who loves me and will never hurt me.


Places where I wish I was:
1. Under the covers.
2. Under the covers with a boy.
3. Under the covers with a boy listening to Radiohead.
4. Under the covers with a boy listening to Radiohead eating macaroni and cheese.
5. Under the covers with a boy listening to Radiohead eating macaroni and cheese with a cat at my feet.







Posted by samb. at 9:41 PM 0 more than before
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