that there was a way for me to put myself in your dreams.
That way I can tell you that I miss you, even when you are asleep and we can't talk.
Showing posts with label i miss you. Show all posts
Showing posts with label i miss you. Show all posts
Saturday, August 27, 2011
I wish
Saturday, March 5, 2011
I would wake up
in the pouring rain every day for the rest of my life if just to bring you back.
I wasn't ready for this.
To everyone who said God took you and that was okay, then fuck them. I needed you more than he ever will.
I owe you for more things than anyone could count.
I wanted to repay you, I swore I'd be something and come back to take care of you.
For the last three days I've been screaming "fuck you" at the sky, sobbing into the grass, throwing fits and tantrums like the baby I feel that I am without you.
I hate every single person at that funeral home who wasn't on the floor in a heap with me.
Preacher man says, "This is just a test from God, Samantha." Yeah? Well fuck you, I'd repeat the second grade as long as I live if it meant I got to have her with me.
People talk about the day they found God, I'll talk about the day I lost faith in everything.
Now Playing; Hospice - The Antlers
Monday, February 14, 2011
It is February
fourteenth, and nothing more.
By nothing more, I mean nothing of importance for me at least.
For the last two February fourteenths of my life, I have had someone to spend it with. This year, I don't, and I feel liberated. In fact, I'm quite happy about where I am.
I spent the last two with a boy and Ben Folds, who had conveniently scheduled shows within days of the fourteenth both years.
While those were two of the best days of my life, I'm still quietly okay with being in my room, kept company by a few cigarettes and some iced tea.
I'm alright.
My future is not in jeopardy because of one lonely day.
For clarification, I'm not that lonely.
There is a boy though.
That small amount of me that can still feel things isn't expecting anything, but I caught myself wondering today, whether I would get anything.
I won't.
That's alright.
As time passes I am more and more certain that he cares for me, but as my best friend said, I'm still in denial and I still feel like it's too good to be true.
I adore him. I have for a while.
I enjoy looking forward to seeing him again, and even though I don't like being so far from him, I feel it makes things better.
He'll be with me in a matter of days, and I am happy.
So even if I don't have someone to kiss this year, at least I have someone to miss.
I'm alright.
Now Playing: The Earth Sings Mi Fa Mi - The Receiving End of Sirens
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Oh, here
we fucking go.
There is apparently nothing that can stop me from thinking about you.
I can lay with everyone else, but yours is the only chest I can fall asleep on.
I don't want to be so far away.
I don't want to be so attached.
But I am.
I fall in love far too quickly, I am reminded why I don't do this.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
There is not much
time that passes without a thought of something bigger. I don't want to let you go, for you to be the one that would get away would tear me to pieces. There are attempts made to fill the void, but I can be sure now that it is not working. I will lay with him and imagine you, hoping that his body would dissipate and only your frame would be left in that place. I just sit and watch that man sleep, entirely emotionless. When you sleep though, I feel more things than one human mind can take. You have grown into me, and I can not sever my own person. This is my fucking diary for the world to read. I keep it for reasons that I don't understand. I am an open door, please come in.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
I fall asleep
alone every single night of my life and I'm tired of it.
Where did we get off track? I live in a fucking devil town.
Now Playing: Noise Floor, Bright Eyes
Monday, January 3, 2011
I don't know if
I'm ready to talk yet.
I like the things I keep inside too much to share. Selfish little girl.
Just know that I do miss you.
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