I made more. This one is Anthony Green, and it's Nicolette's late Christmas gift.
Friday, December 31, 2010
In retrospect,
I don't know what to say about the last year of my life.
For the last eighteen years, I have never had a single regret, and this year is no different. There are things that I wish could have been done differently, but I do not regret anything that has happened. I know that someday it will all be brighter.
What a year it has been, and though I still don't know who I am, I have a little better understanding of who I'm not. That's how it will always be, I think. Never knowing who I'm supposed to be, but slowly narrowing down who I am certainly not destined to become.
Over the last 365 days, I have been more in love with the world than ever before, and been more disgusted with the world than ever before. I have been so in love, and then fallen out of love. I have moved away, gone to school, failed at things, succeeded at things. I lost so many friends, and made new ones to fill those spots. I have been on an airplane, I have seen Chicago, been to Lollapalooza, I have run away from home, I have been kicked out of my home. I have cut my hair, I have gotten tattoos, I have changed my outlook on life. I still don't know what I want to do. I have lived in so many places, but I haven't even lived.
My life has so much more to offer me, and here's to hoping a new year will mean a new life.
I want another chance at things that I have ruined.
My resolution: I will love and be loved.
Now playing: To the Beat of a Dead Horse... - Touche Amore
Thursday, December 30, 2010
We only accept
the love we believe we deserve.
Johnny told me that. Nobody can ever understand how happy I am to know where he is, and have him back in my life again. It took a total of ten minutes for him to say things that made me feel better about where I am in life, and now I feel that things will be okay sometime.
In other news, I got a new tattoo yesterday.
It's a tree. Its location is my right leg. It's beautiful and I love it.
In other other news, tomorrow is New Years Eve. I will be doing absolutely nothing, because I get the pleasure of waking up at 4 a.m. to serve doughnuts and coffee to all you folks with a hangover. This will be another one of my countless New Years' spent alone. If someone would like to sneak into my house at midnight and kiss me while I sleep, that would be alright.
I am working to accept the love I believe I deserve.
Now Playing: In Rainbows - Radiohead
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
I am afraid
of the things that I am capable of these days.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
For one night only
I don't want to be surprised.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
I dream of things
that only dreamers can dream.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Merry
Christmas to you, from my little family of one.
I'm a single person family now that I got kicked out of my house on Christmas Eve. Cool.
I'm spending the holiday with my best friend Sydnee, because neither of us have too much of a Christmas.
That's alright with me. We make it work.
Just trying to stay positive and be happy.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
I need to move
out of this house.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
I am unable
to function without someone to look after me.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
You're just too hip
for me, man.
I have a sad habit
of reading the missed connections on Craigslist.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
I can see
the words inside your silence, but I can't speak about your pain for you.
Monday, December 13, 2010
"I am a collector of stories,"
you told me.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
She sees his face
in the sweat stained sheets.
they keep on piling up.
In the backyard,
so overgrown.
In the dandelions,
they peek through the cracks in the patio.
She swears she hears the phone,
but she only gets a dial-tone.
So she imagines what'd she say:
"If you feel like coming home to me sometime,
yeah, if you feel like coming home to me,
I'll be waiting at the door.
There is nothing to be sorry for.
So why can't you come home?
Don't you feel like coming home to me anymore?
You don't feel like coming home to me?"
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Tomorrrow should be
fun, I'm going to go get my hair chopped off.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
I have not showered
in three days, and I've been wearing the same pair of leggings for a week.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
HEYBUYASHIRT
Fuck the sun,
we're tossed into the sea.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Counting down
to so many things.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
As you throw away
the love that we made.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Not one of you
will ever be able to understand how broken my heart is.