The Elephant's Room: winter

Showing posts with label winter. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Fuck the sun,

we're tossed into the sea.

I'd rather live in days too dark than see you again.

I would be the one you'd never lay next to.

Silent.

Our dreams are lost and beautiful.

Miles from anywhere we can distinguish.

How many necks will you break to get back home?

"Enough," you said.

This is where I walk away.

The only appealing thing about winter is that I can write again. It's going to be a rough one.

Now playing: What Counts EP - Have Heart

Saturday, December 4, 2010

As you throw away

the love that we made.

I know, I know nothing is gonna change that.

Nothing is going to change that hopeless feeling I get when you say you understand, and I know you can't.

Does it give you satisfaction?

I know it does. I get the feeling that you're happy watching me be unhappy.

It was always the exact opposite for all that time, you were always the one sad about where we stood. Now that you have the chance to say no, and you have other people to support you, it's easy to say that you're done.

I'm sorry that I'm not speaking to you. I can't reach out any more than I already have.

This is where everything new starts.

I will be happy again.

I have an appointment to get a haircut on Friday, and that will be the first time my kaleidoscope has moved in months. Anyone who knows me would know how important this is.

I have a kaleidoscope personality and for a while it has been stuck in the same stupid pattern, I'm brushing off the dust and making moves again.

Now Playing: Blue Sky Noise (Safe Camp Acoustic Sessions), Circa Survive

Friday, December 3, 2010

Not one of you

will ever be able to understand how broken my heart is.

In the course of my eighteen years, I've lost buttons from my jacket, my favorite hat, an elephant beanie baby, Sydnee's Circa Survive cd, plenty more cd's that were mine, my driver's license, numerous pairs of sunglasses, lens covers, a soccer ball or two, sweatshirts, car keys, money, a cell phone, a debit card, packs of cigarettes, chapstick, a retainer, my cat's collar, a dog, three fish, a mouse, my favorite cup, so many socks, a show ticket signed by all of We Were Promised Jetpacks, passwords, photographs, toys, sheet music, homework, time, and morals.

nowi'velosthope.

Now Playing: [A-->B] Life, mewithoutYou

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Looks like

I got played. Ouch.

I'm never the kind of girl to get a crush like I got, but oh my, did I fancy you. It doesn't matter now, because I'm also not the kind of girl to fight. You have what makes you happy, and in the end that's all I can ask for. Sure, I'm sad, sure, I'm upset, but I can't hold it against you.

I've played my fair share of the game, but it hurts when I've finally stopped, and it is just now coming back around to me.

See, it wouldn't hurt so much if I hadn't hurt someone else for you. I broke a boy's heart just to take a shot with you, and it backfired as much as it possibly could.

I'm lonely again.

I'm listening to lonely music again.

It's obviously winter time, and so it begins.

Now Playing: You Are My Sunshine, Copeland

Saturday, November 20, 2010

There are times

like right now, where I wish I was somewhere else.

It's because I'm laying in my bed, stealing internet from my neighbors, and filling my room with cigarette smoke. Even though I'm aware of the trouble this will get me into. I don't care.

Welcome to winter, everyone. This scene is the general picture of what our lives in this season will become. Seasonal Affective Disorder will ensue for quite a few of those who believe it exists, and for those who don't, well, we'll just be sad.

It's nothing that we want, but nothing that we have learned to avoid. It happens and we allow it.

I just want someone to be honest with me. Honest intentions at the least. My cat is the only boy in my life who loves me and will never hurt me.

Places where I wish I was:

1. Under the covers.

2. Under the covers with a boy.

3. Under the covers with a boy listening to Radiohead.

4. Under the covers with a boy listening to Radiohead eating macaroni and cheese.

5. Under the covers with a boy listening to Radiohead eating macaroni and cheese with a cat at my feet.

The Elephant's Room