The Elephant's Room

and I don't feel any different.

I'm going to change that, though. I have so much to look forward to.
1. Second semester of college, getting my freshman year over with.
2. Moving out of my house officially.
3. Lollapalooza again, with my best friend.
4. I would like to go to the beach this summer, too. (This may be just a wet dream, 'cause I'm broke.)
5. Spending my sophomore year of college in an apartment by myself, and not with a stranger.
6. Finally figuring out what I want to do with my life.






Now Playing: Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie

I don't know what to say about the last year of my life.
For the last eighteen years, I have never had a single regret, and this year is no different. There are things that I wish could have been done differently, but I do not regret anything that has happened. I know that someday it will all be brighter.
What a year it has been, and though I still don't know who I am, I have a little better understanding of who I'm not. That's how it will always be, I think. Never knowing who I'm supposed to be, but slowly narrowing down who I am certainly not destined to become.
Over the last 365 days, I have been more in love with the world than ever before, and been more disgusted with the world than ever before. I have been so in love, and then fallen out of love. I have moved away, gone to school, failed at things, succeeded at things. I lost so many friends, and made new ones to fill those spots. I have been on an airplane, I have seen Chicago, been to Lollapalooza, I have run away from home, I have been kicked out of my home. I have cut my hair, I have gotten tattoos, I have changed my outlook on life. I still don't know what I want to do. I have lived in so many places, but I haven't even lived.
My life has so much more to offer me, and here's to hoping a new year will mean a new life.
I want another chance at things that I have ruined.

My resolution: I will love and be loved.
Now playing: To the Beat of a Dead Horse... - Touche Amore

the love we believe we deserve.

Johnny told me that. Nobody can ever understand how happy I am to know where he is, and have him back in my life again. It took a total of ten minutes for him to say things that made me feel better about where I am in life, and now I feel that things will be okay sometime.

In other news, I got a new tattoo yesterday.
It's a tree. Its location is my right leg. It's beautiful and I love it.

In other other news, tomorrow is New Years Eve. I will be doing absolutely nothing, because I get the pleasure of waking up at 4 a.m. to serve doughnuts and coffee to all you folks with a hangover. This will be another one of my countless New Years' spent alone. If someone would like to sneak into my house at midnight and kiss me while I sleep, that would be alright.



I am working to accept the love I believe I deserve.
Now Playing: In Rainbows - Radiohead