The Elephant's Room

alone every single night of my life and I'm tired of it.

left that can surprise me.
I grow and I wilt and I lose ground and continue to grow.
I am happy and I am sad and I break down and I find a way to be happy again. Repeat. Repeat.

I am learning to be okay with myself as a party of one. I'm getting better at being alone.
I eat alone, I sleep alone, I sing alone, I love alone.
This is alright with me.
There is a certain beauty that comes with the introspection available to only the loner. There is a beauty in the sadness, and I believe that the number one is gorgeous. I look differently upon everything, having to accomplish it by myself. I'm confident that I will someday find the compliment to my being, but I am no longer giving in to my whims to search them out.
I could be with anyone, my personality can easily flex and bend enough to fit them.
I could be anyone, I could love anyone.



Now Playing: Daytrotter Session, 1.3.11 - MGMT

the love we believe we deserve.

Johnny told me that. Nobody can ever understand how happy I am to know where he is, and have him back in my life again. It took a total of ten minutes for him to say things that made me feel better about where I am in life, and now I feel that things will be okay sometime.

In other news, I got a new tattoo yesterday.
It's a tree. Its location is my right leg. It's beautiful and I love it.

In other other news, tomorrow is New Years Eve. I will be doing absolutely nothing, because I get the pleasure of waking up at 4 a.m. to serve doughnuts and coffee to all you folks with a hangover. This will be another one of my countless New Years' spent alone. If someone would like to sneak into my house at midnight and kiss me while I sleep, that would be alright.



I am working to accept the love I believe I deserve.
Now Playing: In Rainbows - Radiohead