I will never find a place where I am happy.
I get tired too easily but won't ever sleep.
Comfort isn't something that I am ready for again, I've spent too many nights being uncomfortable that discomfort is now my safe place.
Get me out of here.
Now playing: Merchant Ships - For Cameron
Showing posts with label merchant ships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label merchant ships. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Sometimes I feel that
Thursday, January 20, 2011
One song
can make me feel so much.
Tonight it's Sleep Patterns by Merchant Ships. In all honesty, it's a lot of nights.
One person can only take a certain amount of shit before they collapse. There are so many things I want out of this life, and I get scared that I won't ever accomplish a single one. We're here, we wake up, we die. It seems as fast as that sometimes. I keep moving farther away from where I was but I don't know that those steps are taking me anything closer to where I'm going.
I've been awake for eighteen and a half years and what do I have to show for it? I don't need recognition, and I don't need approval, but I want to feel good about what I've left behind. I'm not afraid of being a nobody, I'm afraid of not being someone.
I had to grow up way before I was ever supposed to. Everyone that I'm surrounded by has mommies and daddies to take care of their spending habits, to fund their educations, and let them be carefree for another four years. I don't like to complain though, because I have more than so many people, but at the same time, I've worked hard for every single thing that I have. There was never anyone there to hand me things. I moved out at sixteen, I had to be responsible for my entire life at the same time that my friends were learning to drive. It's wishful thinking for an easier life and some sense of understanding. Work hard, hard work.
I want to stop the world from it's fucking spinning and scream at everyone to stop giving up.
Now Playing: For Cameron - Merchant Ships
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